Marriage partner and Social Media presence

[MisterrSingh]

On 10/4/2020 at 11:25 PM, Guest Realistic said:

This is a ridiculous statement. How else is he meant to find someone for his daughter? Middle men don't exist anymore.

What happened to the art of discretion? Why's he hawking her in this manner? Middle "men" may not exist in the ways of old, but making an introduction via a third party isn't something that's succumbed to the mists of legend as seems to be the impression around these parts.

The role of the bachola has certainly dissolved to something considerably less official and dictatorial, but that doesn't mean the dynamics of the "making an introduction" process in the Punjabi community have shifted to the degree that the father of the girl is making a fool of himself trying to foist his daughter onto potential suitors in the cack-handed manner described by OP. 

He's literally saying, "U wanna marry my daughter, init? Come on, u know you want to. Don't be shy." 

He's her father for God's sake! Respectable families with decent daughters don't behave in this manner. Trust me.

 

On 10/4/2020 at 11:28 PM, Guest Realistic said:

Do you think people are unable to grow/learn/evolve? You seem very pessimistic.

People can certainly grow / learn / evolve. The person described by OP isn't one of those people. She seems totally oblivious. The red flags I've identified are clear markers as to why it isn't possible in her situation. She has no compelling reason to alter her mindset, but OP is, at this stage of proceedings, identifying aspects of her nature that he finds irksome, and is desperately trying to find solutions for bridging the gap between the ill-advised attraction he's allowed to develop for her AND the issues about her that disturb him in an effort to justify the feelings he has for her.

The Punjabi mindset -- moreso the one exposed to the shallow contemporary Western mentality that's predicated on excessive digital social interaction -- lack the necessary critical thinking skills and subsequent discipline to break or even curb ingrained habits that have become second nature. 

Mention the idea of curbing attention to screens / electronic gadgets, and you'll likely be met with a barrage of excuses centred around the core argument of, "Everyone else is doing it, so what's wrong with it?" That's before we've even broached the psychological affects of social media addiction, and believe me, that girl is addicted. It's out of control now; once the realisation stemming from complacency gained from securing a partner is realised, it will get worse.

It also seems she has a pathological desire for attention and to over-share every inconsequential thought that crosses her mind. These are serious and quite deep-rooted personality flaws that cannot be overcome at the insistence of a third party. The biggest problem? She doesn't even realise she has a problem.

[MisterrSingh]

On 10/4/2020 at 4:20 PM, Guest Marriage counsellor said:

Perfect observations. I would even go as far as recommending marrying a white girl with good upbringing. Don’t marry Indians, even if they are born in the overseas in the Western Hemisphere. Marry good whites girl and introduce her to Sikhi, believe me when I sat your life will be easy. There will be no punjabi cultural baggage to cope with and no spoilt rotten punjabi wife sh$t to deal with in daily life. Marry white,

While I don't disagree with the overall sentiment of your post, unfortunately even the vast majority of whites are no more immune to the frivolous distractions of the age than any other group.

A "good" white girl is more often than not rooted in a Christian mindset (those that found Christ before they allowed themselves to succumb to degeneracy are even more rare), and therefore looking for a partner that shares the same beliefs and background.

A "liberal" white woman willing to entertain the idea of marrying outside her race may seem like heaven for most non-white males, but there are also long-term negatives stemming from her overall worldview that become apparent with time. If she's willing to seek a non-white partner, then she also has other beliefs that would most likely prove to be a sticking point for a male with even the semblance of a traditional mindset. If, on the other hand, the Punjabi male is even "whiter" in mentality than his object of desire, and he's prepared to make concessions, then fair enough, the friction between the two parties will be non-existent. Happy days... for a while at least.

[singhdalbir]

On 10/4/2020 at 8:20 AM, Guest Marriage counsellor said:

Perfect observations. I would even go as far as recommending marrying a white girl with good upbringing. Don’t marry Indians, even if they are born in the overseas in the Western Hemisphere. Marry good whites girl and introduce her to Sikhi, believe me when I sat your life will be easy. There will be no punjabi cultural baggage to cope with and no spoilt rotten punjabi wife sh$t to deal with in daily life. Marry white,

Joke of the day. Having lived here in the USA for so long and you come to realize that American girls specially white girls are just too loose. You may find some white girls who are conservative but they are usually hella hardcore christian. IF you are able to marry a girl like that, than most likely she are trying to convert the kids if she can't convert you. That is their end goal of just trying to convert everyone whether straight out or back hand way conversion.

[learningkaur]

On 10/4/2020 at 4:20 PM, Guest Marriage counsellor said:

Perfect observations. I would even go as far as recommending marrying a white girl with good upbringing. Don’t marry Indians, even if they are born in the overseas in the Western Hemisphere. Marry good whites girl and introduce her to Sikhi, believe me when I sat your life will be easy. There will be no punjabi cultural baggage to cope with and no spoilt rotten punjabi wife sh$t to deal with in daily life. Marry white,

So this singh who doesn’t like a singhni because she uses Instagram is going to go for a gori now? What planet are you living on.

Also how many white women have you come across they find full kesh singhs attractive? 

It’s not the Punjabi wives who bring  the ‘cultural baggage’ - it’s actually the husbands families, mostly their mother’s! so why don’t you advise the Punjabi girls to marry nice white men who wash dishes instead. 
 

[indersingh1313]

5 hours ago, learningkaur said:

So this singh who doesn’t like a singhni because she uses Instagram is going to go for a gori now? What planet are you living on.

Also how many white women have you come across they find full kesh singhs attractive? 

It’s not the Punjabi wives who bring  the ‘cultural baggage’ - it’s actually the husbands families, mostly their mother’s! so why don’t you advise the Punjabi girls to marry nice white men who wash dishes instead. 
 

wjkk wjkf

Double standard. a guy can use social media and see someone's stuff on insta secretly then its ok for him but if a girl using social media then they think she is spoilt or addicted. if a Sikh  guy marrying a white girl then its ok but if a Sikh woman marrying white guy then they still think she is gone out of parents hands. that actually makes them hypocritical. 

 

[MisterrSingh]

7 hours ago, learningkaur said:

It’s not the Punjabi wives who bring  the ‘cultural baggage’ - it’s actually the husbands families, mostly their mother’s! so why don’t you advise the Punjabi girls to marry nice white men who wash dishes instead. 

 

So... it is the Punjabi wives? Because the mother started out as a wife? It's a vicious cycle.

[Premi5]

On 10/4/2020 at 9:11 AM, MisterrSingh said:

Her dad's unsubtly dropping hints about getting his daughter married directly to a potential suitor? 99.9% of the time this means he's trying to offload her onto a husband because of reasons. Yeah, that's a red flag. Huge red flag.

 

Your aatma is clearly screaming NO, but for some reason you're trying to manufacture reasons for convincing yourself into a rishta. Stop it. Her so-called sweetness stacked against a litany of the above issues should tell you everything that you need to know.

Her social media presence is the least of your problems if you find yourself drawn into the orbit of someone like that.

I think parents just want their children to get married, nothing more

but if OP has doubts then he should forgot about her

[GurjantGnostic]

3 hours ago, indersingh1313 said:

wjkk wjkf

Double standard. a guy can use social media and see someone's stuff on insta secretly then its ok for him but if a girl using social media then they think she is spoilt or addicted. if a Sikh  guy marrying a white girl then its ok but if a Sikh woman marrying white guy then they still think she is gone out of parents hands. that actually makes them hypocritical. 

 

Too much social media not healthy period. Anand Karaj only. Gender not important. 

[learningkaur]

12 hours ago, MisterrSingh said:

So... it is the Punjabi wives? Because the mother started out as a wife? It's a vicious cycle.

[Redoptics]

On 10/4/2020 at 9:11 AM, MisterrSingh said:

Her dad's unsubtly dropping hints about getting his daughter married directly to a potential suitor? 99.9% of the time this means he's trying to offload her onto a husband because of reasons. Yeah, that's a red flag. Huge red flag.

Excessive social media presence? Another red flag.

Driving while using a phone? She's a self obsessed brainlet who cares little for her own safety as well as that of her fellow road users. Red flag.

Lacks discretion and self-awareness. Red flag.

Your aatma is clearly screaming NO, but for some reason you're trying to manufacture reasons for convincing yourself into a rishta. Stop it. Her so-called sweetness stacked against a litany of the above issues should tell you everything that you need to know.

Her social media presence is the least of your problems if you find yourself drawn into the orbit of someone like that.

You make a lot of assumptions, just saying.

 

I can say, with the amount of posts you have , I can assume you have an excessive social presence.

You do not even know the girl, but its a red flag.

If the guy does like her, get to know her more and ask her why she posts alot , not ask random people on the Internet.