I want to get married

[Ranjeet01]

I have never known any wives getting married to multiple husbands (brothers). 

The assumption that polyandry amongst Jatts is largely a myth.

What did happen is that if a husband passed away and he had a younger unmarried brother then he would marry his brothers widow.

Even this is very rare. 

How this myth got embellished to say that Jatts marry their sons to one woman is an old wives tale.

[GurjantGnostic]

55 minutes ago, Jacfsing2 said:

Didn’t Nihangs have multiple wives back in the day though? 

There are instances where multiple wives is appropriate. It's not to create a harem or have 100 wives. It has to do with women, their needs, their ability to have children, and decimation of suitable breeding males. 

[proactive]

It wasn't marriage, it was more that the younger unmarried brother/s could 'share' the wife of the elder brother because they had no hope of ever getting married. The Punjabi word 'chharrha' traditionally meant someone who was unmarried and had no hope of getting married but now just means an unmarried guy. There are some traditional songs which are about how mischevous these 'chharray' were to the village society. The marriage of the younger brother to the widow of his elder brother was one of the traditions that placed the Jats outside of the Hindu caste system. Manvaadi would not even let widows remarry let alone let a widow marry the younger brother of her husband. That was called Chadar pauni and it was to solve two issues, one was that traditionally after the death of her husband the widow could not inherit his land and if she had children then unless the widow's parents took them all in then theirs lives would be hard, the other was to stop any interference from the widow's new husband if she had to marry outside of her husband's family. The problem would arise if the younger brother was already married in which case he would have two wives and this is where the Punjabi word Saukan  or co-wife comes from because there would always be issues between the two wives. Calling someone a saukan is an insult similar to how the word <banned word filter activated> is an insult now. 

[GurjantGnostic]

1 minute ago, proactive said:

It wasn't marriage, it was more that the younger unmarried brother/s could 'share' the wife of the elder brother because they had no hope of ever getting married. The Punjabi word 'chharrha' traditionally meant someone who was unmarried and had no hope of getting married but now just means an unmarried guy. There are some traditional songs which are about how mischevous these 'chharray' were to the village society. The marriage of the younger brother to the widow of his elder brother was one of the traditions that placed the Jats outside of the Hindu caste system. Manvaadi would not even let widows remarry let alone let a widow marry the younger brother of her husband. That was called Chadar pauni and it was to solve two issues, one was that traditionally after the death of her husband the widow could not inherit his land and if she had children then unless the widow's parents took them all in then theirs lives would be hard, the other was to stop any interference from the widow's new husband if she had to marry outside of her husband's family. The problem would arise if the younger brother was already married in which case he would have two wives and this is where the Punjabi word Saukan  or co-wife comes from because there would always be issues between the two wives. Calling someone a saukan is an insult similar to how the word <banned word filter activated> is an insult now. 

Marrying widows, and widows being able to remarry aren't the same as sharing a wife. Women are too fertile for that to make any sense. You'd just breed her to death and then have to play guess which one's are yours bro. 

[ipledgeblue]

On 11/12/2021 at 2:02 PM, dallysingh101 said:

Bro, if you can't see the inferiority complex apnay in general (and I'd say especially juts) have towards goray, you should open up your eyes. 

Maybe you have a strong, robust identity that protects you from this, sadly many don't. 

but all your previous comments I have seen point to a superiority complex towards jatts. I have seen inferiority complexes in kenya sikh getting upset about castes. I am unsure if this happens as much in indian tarkhan sikhs. I have seen other inferiority complexes, but to lesser levels.   The worst thing is seeing inferiority complexes in some people for being mona, and others for keeping turban, yet I have also seen superiority complexes as well in other monay and turban wearers. Regardless we should have maan for wearing turban of Guru sahibs.

[dallysingh101]

2 hours ago, ipledgeblue said:

but all your previous comments I have seen point to a superiority complex towards jatts. I have seen inferiority complexes in kenya sikh getting upset about castes. I am unsure if this happens as much in indian tarkhan sikhs. I have seen other inferiority complexes, but to lesser levels.   The worst thing is seeing inferiority complexes in some people for being mona, and others for keeping turban, yet I have also seen superiority complexes as well in other monay and turbvan wearers. Regardless we should have maan for wearing turban of Guru sahibs.

You know what, I take it back. I think a lot of brown people in general have inferiority complexes like we are discussing. 

[Jacfsing2]

The poor op wanted to talk about rishta and the talk went all the way to this.  

[Jacfsing2]

On 9/26/2021 at 6:55 PM, MisterrSingh said:

This is the absolute crux of the matter; to find a girl who's pretty enough to get the lad hot and bothered BUT not too pretty that her attractiveness has made her a target for other lads from the moment, as they say in Punjabi, her jawani char gayi in her mid-teens onwards.

Before the undercover brahmgyanis chime in about prioritising kamayi and Gurmukh values, for those of our people who don't float around in their own little Satyug that keeps the rest of the Kalyugi world out (a bit like Trump's non-existent wall), these are valid considerations that should be looked at in detail for the rank-and-file people of our community.

If the guy himself is between the 4-7 range of attractiveness, he needs to look for a girl within the same range. BUT Punjabi guys (and men in general) over-estimate their physical appeal. A man, more than anyone, has a tendency to inflate his own sense of being. He finds it very difficult to process that he may not be what he thinks he is.

A guy in this 4-7 range (which is the vast majority of males on the planet) going after a 9 or 10 girl is living in cloud-cuckoo land if he thinks even a typically middle-class, middle-income job (£30-60k) is going to keep a top-tier girl placated for the next 40-50 years of her life (or at least until she lets her self go or hits the menopause depending on what comes first. Even then her appeal to men may fade, but her aadataa -- habits -- will be nigh on set in stone. If they're rotten since decades eariler, the guy is in for trouble). I'd go as far to say that even a multi-millionaire would need to be on-top of his game from the day he's married to the day he drops dead in order to keep a 9 or 10 as his wife.

Today, more than ever, a girl's history counts so much. From what I've seen, the majority of apne guys live in a world that is detached from reality. They may consider themselves street-smart and worldly, but in many respects their understanding of the world is, IMO, based on an inaccurate simulation of a wider culture they don't truly understand. As such, those blind-spots is where they end up being blind-sided by the unforeseen.

Then you've got to figure out whether her jawani had indeed gone to her head quite a while ago, or if she's been sensible with it. The answer to this question, IMO, comes IN PART from studying the immediate family, i.e. the dad, mum, and siblings.

Ideally if the munda is virgin and inexperienced, he should go for a kuddi who is virgin and inexperienced. 

[GurjantGnostic]

2 hours ago, dallysingh101 said:

You know what, I take it back. I think a lot of brown people in general have inferiority complexes like we are discussing. 

How many black girls you see with their hair starightened?

[GurjantGnostic]

1 hour ago, Jacfsing2 said:

The poor op wanted to talk about rishta and the talk went all the way to this.  

Lol. Well he'll consider caste sentiments when getting a rishta now. Heh.