Not Being A Virgin

[proactive]

It's good that you're discussing this before you make any plans for marriage. He does come across as confused and in two minds because on the one hand he's saying he likes you and then he tells you that he is finding it hard to deal with the situation. At the end of the day it is something that he has to come to terms with and deal with. You need to give him some time for him to weigh up what he feels for you and what he feels about the situation. He has to come to a decision of what is more important to him, you friendship, what he feels about you and your life together if you marry against what he feels about you not being a virgin.

It is important that he deals with this before you make any plans for marriage because any unresolved issues will definately come to the fore after marriage. If he is able to deal with this issue then put a line under the issue and then agree that you won't discuss the issue again.

Good luck and I hope he can deal with the issue and realise that having found someone who is compatable in so many ways is much more important than any mistakes that you made when you were younger.

[daas_mandeep singh]

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fataih bhain jee

bhain jee start reading japji saheb and u'll get all ur answers

trust guru jee bhain jee...jap jee saheb will give u all answers... try to catch hold of japjee saheb with translation

do read everyday ...fifteen minutes regularly will see a sea change in ur life

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fataih

and bhain jee keep smiling ....

[stylish me?]

best of luck Bhenji, i hope it all works out well for you. :devil:

[jassa]

take amrit and ur new life will start .... pichle sarre lekhe mitt janne ...

[PrabhzSingh]

gals don't have sharm anymore - you just broadcasted your "business" on the net. Why do people respect opinion of those that don't know you, yet you don't want to listen to people that DO know you. Surely, you are given a honest opinion from those that know you, instead of acting "Gupth" and just given the side nudge of of a opinion.

[Guest Guest]

gals don't have sharm anymore - you just broadcasted your "business" on the net. Why do people respect opinion of those that don't know you, yet you don't want to listen to people that DO know you. Surely, you are given a honest opinion from those that know you, instead of acting "Gupth" and just given the side nudge of of a opinion.

With all do respect paaji, it takes two within these situations, girls may make these choices, but so do guys, i feel that its completely unfair for you to discriminate against her decision when its evident that her ex partner consented to having sex, it takes a lot for a person to put this post up and it would be hard to tell someone what they may have done without being looked down upon. At the end of the day, we all make choices and mistakes, but its what happens next that really matters, and what you learn from that experience, and it is not for us to judge either, as we have not got the obligation i feel to do so.

Penji, sometimes the hardest person to seek forgiveness from is yourself, and its hard for another person to accept i guess that your not a virgin anymore if they are themselves, but maybe in the great scheme of things im sure that if this guy is the right person for you, he will understand and learn to overcome what happened, and i wish you all the best, :devil: .

Forgive me, if i have made any mistakes, or offended anyone.

Fateh.

[PrabhzSingh]

gals don't have sharm anymore - you just broadcasted your "business" on the net. Why do people respect opinion of those that don't know you, yet you don't want to listen to people that DO know you. Surely, you are given a honest opinion from those that know you, instead of acting "Gupth" and just given the side nudge of of a opinion.

With all do respect paaji, it takes two within these situations, girls may make these choices, but so do guys, i feel that its completely unfair for you to discriminate against her decision when its evident that her ex partner consented to having sex, it takes a lot for a person to put this post up and it would be hard to tell someone what they may have done without being looked down upon. At the end of the day, we all make choices and mistakes, but its what happens next that really matters, and what you learn from that experience, and it is not for us to judge either, as we have not got the obligation i feel to do so.

Penji, sometimes the hardest person to seek forgiveness from is yourself, and its hard for another person to accept i guess that your not a virgin anymore if they are themselves, but maybe in the great scheme of things im sure that if this guy is the right person for you, he will understand and learn to overcome what happened, and i wish you all the best, :devil: .

Forgive me, if i have made any mistakes, or offended anyone.

Fateh.

You call it discrimination, I don't. Reason is, I don't know her partner, i comment on her ACTIONS and not her. You obviously didn't understand what i meant. What i don't get is, why do people post her in Gupth, why do they value the opinion of someone they don't know? I think it's down to becuase people will only tell them what they want to hear - becuase they don't know them personally.

[japmans]

i don't understand...

are yo usuggesting, then, that we should be telling her that she will burn in hell?

that she should be locked up in a cave?

that she should never take any steps to move on in life and have a future?

that she should forever, and ever, live her life based upon one incident with a guy, forgetting the fact that she's been a 100% moral human being outside of that action?

i don't understand what you mean when you say we're jus "gonna tell her what she wants to hear".

Why further make her repent for something she's already admitted was in indiscretion on her part? if she's already recognized her mstake, as a 24-year old woman, you suggest, it seems, that it's our job to baby her and remind her about it every chance we get? Sounds childish to me.

None of us can change her past, so obviously people are going to tell her what she could do to move on into the future. She's of marriageable age, so it's not like this is jus some excuse to get up with another guy..she's genuinely interested in someone... someone whom she wants to spend the rest of her life with.

finally, you make it sound like I know you just because we're both registered members hahaha... you really think posting it in gupt makes the world of difference? because she doesn't wanna display her name? For all i know, your name is Prabhjot, Prabhdeep, Prabhleen, Harprabh, Prabhu... all of a sudden you've become a lot more anonymous too! So why do YOU post on these forums?

I post on em and read them to learn... from people who know much more than me.... she's got a personal situation that she wants opinions about from people who she's probably learnt from in the past.

My apologies if i offended you or the original poster.

[Guest Papi]

dont put your hopes in another human being or you will find nothing but disappointment. if it is meant to work out, he will be able to look past this (it seems this is the only thing holding him back) if its not meant to be then u could've been a virgin n it wouldn't have mattered.

just remember,

kbIr Awsw krIAY rwm kI AvrY Aws inrws ]

kabeer aasaa kareeai raam kee avarai aas niraas ||

Kabeer, place your hopes in the Lord; other hopes lead to despair.

nrik prih qy mwneI jo hir nwm audws ]95]

narak parehi thae maanee jo har naam oudhaas ||95||

Those who dissociate themselves from the Lord's Name - when they fall into hell, then they will appreciate its value. ||95||

[Guest random singhni]

its obvious you and this guy like eachother the only thing is that he needs to get over the fact your not a virgin, he needs to see that whatever goings to happen is gonna happen under God's will. If he really likes you and wants to spend his life with you i dont understand why hes getting confused. Im proud of you since you have been honest to him but maybe he hard time dealing with you not being a virgin. Well i hope you guys work it out, if he cant get over it it just wasn't meant for you and him to be together move on don't worry theres alot of great singhs out there (theres also some singhs who werent into sikhi before so they have done things in the past their not proud of) Dont get depressed, do more paat and go to the gurudwara and do ardass to Guru ji