Sexual Grooming Methods Revealed

[dallysingh101]

By religious do you mean one whose parents happen to be religious or one who herself is also religious(one who does daily Nitnem, keeps Panj Kakaari Rehit etc) because both are not the same. Very often we see a family who is religious yet children don't keep Rehit(no Daily Nitnem, No Kakkars). Because most girls from religious families are really no different from regular Sikh girls i.e. they don't do Nitnem nor keep Rehit. I'm not saying no Rehitvaan girl will go astray some may very well go, but their chances of going astray greatly get reduced if they are Nitnemi. Doing Nitnem everyday means you are washing your mind with AmritMaee Bani daily. Only way to stop the tide of Kalyug is Rehit and Gurbani Nitnem. This is the precautionary measure, remedy and solution that our Guru Sahib has given us to such problems.

I think it is more complicated than that. Although I do get your point and people keeping nitnem and truly pursing union with Akal Purakh are awesome. But I think those that keep up practice more down to family habits/pressure and upbringing rather than internal, personal conviction are susceptible too. I don't even want to get into this in any detail.

Experience has taught me that labeling or perceiving victims of grooming as coming from a particularly non-religious background is a fool's game, and one too many apnay like to play.

[Jonny101]

I think it is more complicated than that. Although I do get your point and people keeping nitnem and truly pursing union with Akal Purakh are awesome. But I think those that keep up practice more down to family habits/pressure and upbringing rather than internal, personal conviction are susceptible too. I don't even want to get into this in any detail.

Experience has taught me that labeling or perceiving victims of grooming as coming from a particularly non-religious background is a fool's game, and one too many apnay like to play.

It's not a game veere, if it is then this is a game in which we are losing and Kalyug is winning. I think we need to change our way of thinking. Children don't know much about what is good or bad for them. If you ask a child to eat vegetables which are good for them that child will say "eewww" and will not eat it with conviction while they would be ready to eat a whole bag full of chocolates or even junk food which is bad for them without hesitation. Parents strive to make it a habit and pressure the child to eat the vegetables because they know what benefits it will bring to their health. Similarly we pressure our children to do their homework instead of wasting all afternoon watching tv because we know what benefit homework will bring for their future and that child will also thank their parent when they become a success.

It's strange that while we all know the benefits of Gurbani yet we have made Gurbani Nitnem unimportant in our children's lives. If them eating food is important, going to school is important and doing their homework is important then why have we made Guru's hukams as optional? This problem that our girls and boys are facing is a spiritual one and the remedy is also a spiritual one. Our Gurus have made such a lifestyle that if we implement Guru's hukams of doing Nitnem and Naam Simran we can greatly turn the tide against effects of Kalyug.

Every afternoon most Sikh families sit around a TV watching for 1 or 2 hours. Yet how many of us all sit as a family with the children and do Rehras Sahib and Kirtan Sohila together? We all know the story of Baba Farid Jee whose mother would make sure her son did his prayers daily and even put something sweet under the carpet as a reward which he thought was from God. How many of us do such a thing with our children? or reward them for memorizing Japji Sahib and other Banis? barely ever. The mindset of kids is such that they need an incentive to do Paath. I love those competitions of where children get awards for memorizing Gurbani. We need more such incentives to save our next generation.

[Big_Tera]

You are right. A close female friend of mine told me about a couple of Pak girls who had been abused by someone in their family (that she had met in uni up north many years ago). The community hide it by quickly marrying them off to cousins. Being insular (inbred) like that has its advantages sometimes as people pull together to hide the so-called 'family shame'. What she told me was a bit weird because the girl first turned lesbian and then years later got religious and married some black Muslim guy who had a bunch of other wives??

Yes they are. Older guys often seem more mature and stable to them than the young immature boys around them. Plus most youngsters like to act and think of themselves as grown up when they are teenagers. And people develop crushes. I think it is some biological thing that is designed to keep the population up.

You know, I got to say it, but I'm recalling my teenage days you know it was so easy to go gaga over someone you found attractive and lose your senses. When you feel attracted like that, all logic flies out of the window. It is genuinely like being on a powerful drug that totally alters how you see and feel things. And it does have a chemical basis with hormones like oxytocin getting to work.

Big Tera is right - it is VERY easy for a man to potentially groom a naive young girl. I worked as a teacher with teenagers for a bit. I know how stupid they can be. Girls are very competitive with each other over guys. I think when they are young they like to test to see what kind of bloke they can attract (they might not even be doing this consciously). Couple this with some seedy older kaam filled bloke who detests the girls religious/racial roots. We know what happens.

Another point. I dated a Greek girl for a short while years ago. She was a teacher too. She used to tell me that a few of her teenage Muslim students would get shocked when she told them about me being a Sikh. She told me that they said things like:

"They bath in blood"

"They like to kill Muslims"

Generally that we are evil vicious people.

So I'm thinking that a lot of sulliaan are conditioned from a young age to mistrust Sikhs (and others I imagine). But on the other hand we see plenty of daughters of white, black hating men go out and date and marry black men etc. etc. or apneean from staunchly anti-sullah families go off with paks.

Just thinking out loud guys.

Yep thats quite interesting about your Greek partner you had and the views muslims have of Sikhs. I think the muslim parents fill their kids with all kinds anti Sikh myths and lies. some quite funny actually.

yeh its true when we find someone we like our body releases very powerful chemicals to make us become fixitated with the person.such as seretonin, oxotocin, dopamine this is a poweful cocktail of hormone producing and mind altering substances. Nature does this as it wants us to mate with the person to produce kids. if we didnt fall in love we would not want to have kids. so 'love' is natures way of making sure we reproduce.

in essence it makes us want to stay with a person long enough to have and raise kids ect and keep the species going.

But when that happens to the wrong person thats when the problem occurs. the chemicals are so poweful even when the other person is a total nightmare we still are addicted to them and cant let go.

Grooming is a very easy process

1) pretend you are interested in a girl and her interests even when you are not and really find feel the exact opposite.

2) praise the girl and her achievements- fake flattery

3) never mention to the girl anything sexual or anything related that. This will at the end stage of the grooming process

4) pretend to be kind and sweet natured even though inside you are only after sex

5) pretend you love the girl . this is the one the girls fall for the most. these guys have no love in their hearts they just have pure sexual desire and nothing else.

the above is how a male groomers mind works. women unfortunately have no idea what is going through a mans mind.

girls by nature are programmed to want someone who fits their criteria. as natur wants girls to repruce at any cost. it doesnt carre about religion or race. so nature makes girls less agressive in this aspect. ie girls have lower levels of testosterone estrogen.

nature doesnt want girls who are to fussy as it wants to populate the planet hence women are progrmammed diffrently

[dallysingh101]

^^^^

Interesting!

Do you think explaining things using science like this might help the girls to see through the feelings they are having due to chemicals? Or are they too powerful?

By this I mean forewarning them. Explaining how this happens before they 'fall head over heels'. I think once they go - the chances of seeing straight drastically diminish.

I think also we ignore the play of ego in the scenario as well. I noticed a lot of victims feel like the people trying to warn them are jealous of them (and enjoy this in some way?)

[jkvlondon]

Yep thats quite interesting about your Greek partner you had and the views muslims have of Sikhs. I think the muslim parents fill their kids with all kinds anti Sikh myths and lies. some quite funny actually.

yeh its true when we find someone we like our body releases very powerful chemicals to make us become fixitated with the person.such as seretonin, oxotocin, dopamine this is a poweful cocktail of hormone producing and mind altering substances. Nature does this as it wants us to mate with the person to produce kids. if we didnt fall in love we would not want to have kids. so 'love' is natures way of making sure we reproduce.

in essence it makes us want to stay with a person long enough to have and raise kids ect and keep the species going.

But when that happens to the wrong person thats when the problem occurs. the chemicals are so poweful even when the other person is a total nightmare we still are addicted to them and cant let go.

Grooming is a very easy process

1) pretend you are interested in a girl and her interests even when you are not and really find feel the exact opposite.

2) praise the girl and her achievements- fake flattery

3) never mention to the girl anything sexual or anything related that. This will at the end stage of the grooming process

4) pretend to be kind and sweet natured even though inside you are only after sex

5) pretend you love the girl . this is the one the girls fall for the most. these guys have no love in their hearts they just have pure sexual desire and nothing else.

the above is how a male groomers mind works. women unfortunately have no idea what is going through a mans mind.

girls by nature are programmed to want someone who fits their criteria. as natur wants girls to repruce at any cost. it doesnt carre about religion or race. so nature makes girls less agressive in this aspect. ie girls have lower levels of testosterone estrogen.

nature doesnt want girls who are to fussy as it wants to populate the planet hence women are progrmammed diffrently

But the point is all those hormones you mentioned are released in platonic love between child and family too , when we read bani , jap naam , if Girls and boys were hugged and praised for being worthwhile humans whilst you are training them in Sikhi it would be more than enough for them to realise that there is so much unconditional love from Guru ji and Sikh family that they wouldn't feel inner lack . I think the biological arguments are fine but we have intellect and internal morals to counteract that, there are many girls I'm sure in the past who may have felt something for someone but then dropped it without actioning anything because there was no point and they've gone on to marry a suitable person and had a happy loving life. So it's motivation to stop that needs addressing in our kids .

[JagsawSingh]

I think the muslim parents fill their kids with all kinds anti Sikh myths and lies. some quite funny actually.

Every Muslim I've ever met say they are perplexed as to why Sikhs seem to have so much hatred of them when they themselves like Sikhs and see us as brothers against hindu india. I've met radical Taliban types who tell me they are in awe of the Sikhs when they see us walking around with our dastars while their fellow Muslims are afraid to follow their hadiths and wrap a turban around their head.

Grooming is a very easy process

1) pretend you are interested in a girl and her interests even when you are not and really find feel the exact opposite.

2) praise the girl and her achievements- fake flattery

3) never mention to the girl anything sexual or anything related that. This will at the end stage of the grooming process

4) pretend to be kind and sweet natured even though inside you are only after sex

5) pretend you love the girl . this is the one the girls fall for the most. these guys have no love in their hearts they just have pure sexual desire and nothing else.

You seem to be worringly expert in grooming.

women unfortunately have no idea what is going through a mans mind.

And yet you, as a man, write this as an authority of what is going on in a woman's mind ?

[dallysingh101]

But the point is all those hormones you mentioned are released in platonic love between child and family too ,

I don't know about this jkv. Sure, some overlap exists but the powerful (evolutionary driven) force that comes from physical (read sexual) attraction that is usually an extra force in the early stages of grooming cases brings in another completely separate dimension. BUT, I hear what you are saying when the root cause of the victims behaviour stems from lack of belonging and bonding with the family and wider community.

when we read bani , jap naam , if Girls and boys were hugged and praised for being worthwhile humans whilst you are training them in Sikhi it would be more than enough for them to realise that there is so much unconditional love from Guru ji and Sikh family that they wouldn't feel inner lack .

That is true, but again, physical attraction can twist their heads. Especially when you've got no idea of what hit you, which is often the case in conservative Sikh families who shy away from facing or talking about these things. I think the situation has improved a bit with the 3rd generation though.

I think the biological arguments are fine but we have intellect and internal morals to counteract that, there are many girls I'm sure in the past who may have felt something for someone but then dropped it without actioning anything because there was no point and they've gone on to marry a suitable person and had a happy loving life. So it's motivation to stop that needs addressing in our kids .

Good point!

Now its about the differences between those who stopped and those that didn't. Self-restraint or delayed gratification plays some part in this I think? And you talk about intellect but it doesn't seem like we humans have this in equal amounts. But then you hear of very well educated apneean, top achievers in school/uni get roped up in this.

What's that all about?

[dallysingh101]

Every Muslim I've ever met say they are perplexed as to why Sikhs seem to have so much hatred of them when they themselves like Sikhs and see us as brothers against hindu india. I've met radical Taliban types who tell me they are in awe of the Sikhs when they see us walking around with our dastars while their fellow Muslims are afraid to follow their hadiths and wrap a turban around their head.

I think they might be making a fool of you. They do that. They know that 'sardars' egos can be very easily massaged.

[MisterrSingh]

What Jkv bhenji mentioned a few pages ago about valuing girls as much as boys is essential in issues such as these. Of course, some take it to the extreme and let their children become mini dictators and actually consult the child in major household decisions (unheard of a few years ago), but that's crazy as it sends the wrong signals to a child that his or her parents are clueless. Nurture and include female children as you would males. It sounds like something not even worth mentioning.

[Big_Tera]

Every Muslim I've ever met say they are perplexed as to why Sikhs seem to have so much hatred of them when they themselves like Sikhs and see us as brothers against hindu india. I've met radical Taliban types who tell me they are in awe of the Sikhs when they see us walking around with our dastars while their fellow Muslims are afraid to follow their hadiths and wrap a turban around their head.

You seem to be worringly expert in grooming.

And yet you, as a man, write this as an authority of what is going on in a woman's mind ?

Jagwahsingh, no I am not an expert I have just read alot about how groomers minds work. On advice sites about grooming and how they behave even articles on this site that members have posted. I wrote those points about groomers to educate girls on how to spot these predators and make them aware of their mindset.

Muslims are experts at fake flattery with regards to you Sardar comments.

Thats why they are so good at grooming. they can easily convince naive people like you that they like and respect Sikhs even though inside they hide their true feelings for non Muslims.